EMM Main Blog
Women want to love men who act their own age. That is, they are looking for 20 year old men who act like they are 20 years old. Women are searching for 30 year old men who act like they are 30 years old, and for men who are 40, 50 and 60 years old and act like it.
The problem is that women can’t find mature men. In the crudest analysis, that means men who are grounded in responsibility, respect, commitment and sacrifice because men worldwide are diving into fantasy. It appears that men young and old are more interested in the “product” versus the necessary process required to make a good product. More specifically, men of faith are bypassing God’s process, “growing up” quickly instead of letting God mature them by using their circumstances to cultivate them and teach them discipline, patience and how to connect with women in a loving and caring way.
Let’s go get God’s mind on this topic we are calling uprising. If you have a Bible, I want you to turn to Jeremiah 3:19, and then we are going to go through Jeremiah 4:4. It’s the heart of God’s Word towards men.
We are going to see a decision by men when it comes to sonship. We are also going to see the consequences of that choice. We are going to see that there is a chance for a second decision to be made.
In Jeremiah 3:19, God says: “I myself said how gladly I would treat you like sons.”
I want to stop right there. Whether you are a believer or you’re not; God wants you as a son.
Worrying about the future is big business and a big burden. We ask our kids what they want to be when they grow up. Tiger moms and dads pressure their kids to perform at a high level at very tender ages in order to get little Johnny and Jenny out in front of the future. In the process, we are creating kids who are paralyzed by the prospect of not meeting expectations. Case in point, I asked a high-school senior the other day what her college plans were and she walked away from the whole group. In her mind it was easier to excuse and embarrass herself than to take on her future. This obsession with controlling the future is getting out of hand and adults are no better. We are constantly peering into the crystal ball, planning ahead, forecasting, imagining what may be, dreaming of new realities, and how to avoid potential pitfalls. But what happens when my future fails to meet my own, someone else’s, or culture’s expectations?
ANSWER: It becomes a burden.
Men are notorious for nurturing superficial friendships that center around the safer subjects of sports, business, sex and almost anything other than what’s most important. We men protect our reputation and ego by surrounding ourselves with other men who want the same thing, and don’t want to expose any true vulnerabilities or be held accountable for behaviors. “How’s work going?” “Did you see the game last night?” is easier than “How’s the marriage?”
Over the last 15 years Every Man Ministries surveys reveal that only 1 in 10 men over 30 years have someone in their lives they would call a “true friend” who knows them at a deep or personal level. The irony of this reality is that we also know the margin of victory for men at the personal level is often… one other man, who is a true friend, who “gets under the rock” with you on the deep issues of life.
One-third of all marriages now result from online dating sites. So these days, if your profile captures attention, you have a higher rate of opportunity. And, as you review other women’s profiles, you have to decipher if you are reading fact or fiction. If you’ve ever ventured into this dating matrix, I’m guessing you’ve scratched your head wondering if there’s any truth to their profiles’ advertising.
So I want to encourage you to take a step back, and ask yourself, “Am I advertising the truth, and acting the way God wants me to?” Or “Am I putting up a facade, which in turn, is setting me up for dating failure?”