EMM Main Blog
In the “dating” universe predictable is synonymous with forgettable. But research shows that unpredictable and risky brings great rewards for the relationship – mainly memory muscles! Any man who wants a serious win with his woman (the bragging to friends kind) must understand this one thing: she loves thoughtfulness and imagination. They are the two main ingredients of unforgettable memories. New girlfriend? Wife of many years? This reality with you never goes bad, spoils, or fails to elevate her relational adrenaline and connection with you. Now – add God.
After unconditional acceptance and emotional intimacy, women rank spiritual intimacy at the top of what they want and desire from a man. That’s right, they like to see and sense a man of faith for sharing what’s most valuable with them interpersonally. So for your next date do the math before that nice(ish) dinner and movie.
Thoughtfulness + imagination + God’s purposes = unforgettable
The “anything-but-typical date” might look something like this:
Women want to love men who act their own age. That is, they are looking for 20 year old men who act like they are 20 years old. Women are searching for 30 year old men who act like they are 30 years old, and for men who are 40, 50 and 60 years old and act like it.
The problem is that women can’t find mature men. In the crudest analysis, that means men who are grounded in responsibility, respect, commitment and sacrifice because men worldwide are diving into fantasy. It appears that men young and old are more interested in the “product” versus the necessary process required to make a good product. More specifically, men of faith are bypassing God’s process, “growing up” quickly instead of letting God mature them by using their circumstances to cultivate them and teach them discipline, patience and how to connect with women in a loving and caring way.
Every man carries “The Mantle” of leadership for his family. When it comes to your family, you are “The Mantle” of leadership. It’s your job — your duty — to surround and cover your wife and your children with love, affection, caring and spiritual leadership. God teaches us these Biblical truths in Timothy, Proverbs and Matthew. Let’s look at what the Bible says about how we — God’s men — should live our lives today with “The Mantle” of leadership.
What is mixed into your life? What is your heart full of? Is it full of business information? Is it trivia? Is it sports? Is it success or status? Is it politics?
Usually the dominant recipe of our heart is what we talk about.
Worrying about the future is big business and a big burden. We ask our kids what they want to be when they grow up. Tiger moms and dads pressure their kids to perform at a high level at very tender ages in order to get little Johnny and Jenny out in front of the future. In the process, we are creating kids who are paralyzed by the prospect of not meeting expectations. Case in point, I asked a high-school senior the other day what her college plans were and she walked away from the whole group. In her mind it was easier to excuse and embarrass herself than to take on her future. This obsession with controlling the future is getting out of hand and adults are no better. We are constantly peering into the crystal ball, planning ahead, forecasting, imagining what may be, dreaming of new realities, and how to avoid potential pitfalls. But what happens when my future fails to meet my own, someone else’s, or culture’s expectations?
ANSWER: It becomes a burden.
Every year, men try to pony up at Valentine’s Day for their spouse, significant other or loved ones with the obligatory purchase of red roses, chocolates, jewelry, a card and perhaps a romantic dinner. Some men dutifully step up. Others go over the top, while others cross their fingers hoping they can do something right. But all men face the pressure of answering the conundrum that has eluded men for centuries, “what does she really want?”
Understanding women can seem like trying to solve a broken Rubik’s cube.
From historical accounts, and what we read from the wisest man’s “Songs of Solomon,” here’s a little love lesson on how to be the “Valentine” your sweetheart desires.