Dating is one of the most interesting social studies. Two people with different personalities begin a relationship; with past baggage, a variety of ‘cultural’ expectations, socio-economic histories, family background, values, morals and faith -- you might wonder if it’s possible to think that dating can actually lead to marriage.
From the very opening line to the closing technique, finding dating truths for God’s man can be difficult because there’s not much “dating,” as we know it today, in the Bible.
- Ever wonder what Adam’s approach to Eve was? Something like, “Hey, God made me, He made you. Let’s get it on.”
- Or Ruth who slept at Boaz’s feet, in non-verbal communication that says, “Take me, I am yours.”
- Sampson jumped the gun with Delilah, falling deep into a pre-marital relationship that probably involved sex and eventually short-circuited Sampson’s ultimate potential.
- David never bothered to date Bathsheeba, instead he just had her husband killed.
Then there’s that book in the Bible called Song of Solomon. This interesting book is located in the very middle, or “heart”, of the Bible. It’s a love-lorn exchange of adoration between two people obviously very smitten. Song of Solomon shows me that God is a big fan of dating. It also tells me dating must involve respect, patience, self-control and fearlessness.
Respect -- Each player in this love story humbles themselves while showing ultimate respect for each other. I know men love to feel respected, but in Song of Solomon, the male writer also shows respect for his woman with compliments, protective language, and encouraging words.
Patience -- When two people are dating each other and cannot be together, there’s a test of patience. In Song of Solomon, I see that each player dealt with their longing desire by taking time to write down their thoughts. This is a sign of patience. If they did not write out these love notes, they could become impatient and look for another substitute.
Self-Control -- When reading this passage I wonder what self-control they actually had… For God’s man, dating must be an exercise in self-control. (I’ll explain in future articles the difference between “Quick” and “Quality” dating) Ultimately, controlling your thoughts, words, and behavior will show your potential mate that you can be trusted. So how do you show self-control? Trust God’s plan and obey his Word. She will totally dig this about you!
Fearlessness -- Let’s face it, dating is scary. There’s a lot on the line, including your heart. You have to take a step of faith, and be fearless for God’s way. But if you have respect, patience, and self-control operating for you, then there’s no need to fear. You can rest is the peace that God’s plan is good, and you are following His path.
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Learn more about God's plan for Dating
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Kenny Luck, founder of Every Man Ministries and Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, provides biblically-oriented teaching and leadership for men and pastors seeking relevant, timely material that battle cultural, worldly concepts threatening men and God’s men.
Kenny Luck, founder and president of Every Man Ministries, is the men’s pastor at Saddleback Church, and has a great deal of experience in leading men through their walk with God. His program Sleeping Giant empowers men to take the experience of a men’s ministry and bring it to their own communities. Watch Kenny’s teachings at EveryManMinistries.com.