Understanding the heart of a woman is an oxymoron.
Key word? Moron. That’s because only a moron would be arrogant enough to bloody their nose on the rock of the unthinkable. But I am not your average moron. I am a conflicted moron on a mission. The Yin in me says to the Yang “just give up already, accept emotional kindergarten.” But the Yang fights back and says, “the pay-off dude, think about the pay-off if you figure out what she wants!” The prospect of the pay-off wins again and the Yin taps out. But that’s another bone of contention: the pay-off. That certainly has changed over my 30-year dance in the shifting sands of relational intimacy. What once was the effortless and easily secured warm fuzzies of the dating years (complete with over-laughing and pretend listening) has morphed into the intentional, quasi-mature pursuit of communication and emotional intimacy. That last admission will cost me a 100 point debit off my “man card” but I have learned that the risking for my relationships reaps “phat” rewards.
No man likes regret.
The problem is that we can easily get caught up in the drive to obtain great things, experiences, power, pleasure, fame, fortune, sex and stature. While there’s nothing wrong with healthy achievement, the pursuit of these things can require massive energy, consume your focus, and kill relationships in the process. In spite of our best intentions we end up holding a big bag of regret to compliment our achievements. Along the way someone or something paid the price for getting what we thought we wanted so bad at the time. Oops.
Don’t despair. The dream hasn’t died it’s just being re-set to eliminate regret and replace it with what you were really after – significance.
All that is needed now is the right focus coupled with the right disciplines to sustain my motivation and move me in the right direction. To this end, consider the following fact and helpful roadmap.
You are made to dream creative visions because you were hardwired by God for more.
Perhaps the best question to ask is: Does your dream(s) correlate with God’s dream for you? To find out, ask yourself these questions and compare your answers with what God thinks.
Is it to become wealthy?
- “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”—Hebrews 13:5
Is your lens focused correctly?
Mediocrity's Message to Your Men: You Don't Really Matter - In A World of Quality, Church Is In A Quandary
- Wed Oct 28, 2015
- 0 comments
A drug rehab program ran an ad that got my attention. It involved a live elephant walking around the inside of a house full of people who are trying their best to ignore it. Clearly, obviously the elephant is by far the most noticeable and largest presence. A son is doing homework, head-phones on, eyes fixed. Elephant walks by. Doesn’t flinch. A mother is doing dishes in the kitchen, washing them, putting them away, and vigorously determined not to be distracted by the enormous mammal filling up her kitchen. Elephant passes by her too. No reaction. It is a stunning display of dysfunction in the face of a reality that is engaging the senses but receiving no recognition. The viewer is put into a dysfunctional family as a member of the house and reacts normally (“Hey, there’s an elephant in the room!”) while those who should be most concerned are acting like nothing is wrong. The metaphor for unaddressed, un-discussed, and unresolved alcoholism lands with force.
Someone has to say something. But many times no one says anything.
When it comes to the topic of men, the church is playing this family’s role perfectly—it is hoping to stay focused or distracted by other activities in the house while deep within we know our energy, strategy, and investment in men is, at best, nominal. Mediocre men’s ministry is the elephant walking around our house. We convince ourselves against our senses and better judgment to continue the procession of appearances. The appearance of church health. The appearance of successful weekend services. The appearance of various and widespread small groups. The appearance of discipleship programs. The appearance of several different ministries and outreaches. The appearance of meaningful missions abroad. The appearance that all is well when the one segment of the Body that most broadly impacts all other segments of family, marriage, and children’s health is neither motivated nor activated in any measureable sense. Can you say “uber-dysfunctional?”
TEENS HIDING THEIR SEXUAL REALITY FROM PARENTS
By Kenny Luck
Sexual revelations about their children shake most parents to the core.
Let’s face it – “our little Katie” getting naked with a boy or “our little Kevin” guzzling porn on his smart phone and chronically masturbating is an exercise that – again – most parents can’t mentally engage or never want to imagine. However, to personally witness the shock, awe, shame, and personal disappointment in themselves as they deal with a teenage sexual revelation after the fact is even more painful. Their face says it all:
- What happened?
- How did we miss this?
- Why didn’t they come to me?
- Have I failed to pass on my values?
- Am I such a bad parent?
These are the questions parents around the country are asking themselves in the wake of deeply held moral and spiritual expectations colliding with what are, for parents, unexpected sexual revelations about their children.
- Thu Jul 23, 2015
- 1 comments
Our world has fallen head-over-heals in love with love – an idealized version of it that swallows massive amounts of our mental, emotional, social, and financial resources. “We all” pursue it. Chick flicks, romance novels, music and newsstand magazines all depict it. Advertisers appeal to it. Some brokenhearted people avoid it. And we download the sentiment of it with 90% of music selections.
And yet, God designed it. Love is a matter of the heart, and biblically, the heart is the center of our emotions and will. Oh, and by the way, since God has designed it…. The enemy is after it.
Our hearts are under fire by a culture that romanticizes, fantasizes, and strives to realize love its’ own way apart from God. It’s a brilliant tactic by “pseudo-love’s” main sponsor – Satan. Think about it. The more distracted we can become by it, the less we can connect with the true purpose for it.
When Jesus was asked to rank the most important commandment in Mark 12, I imagine if He had a microphone He would have turned up the volume and shouted:
- “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” --Mark 12:29-31