April 14

What Does Self-Respect Look Like?

 

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us.  ––1 John 4:16-19

Modern manhood can be confusing. We are told we need to be gentle and kind, but not so much that people walk all over us. We need to stand up for ourselves, but not so much that we act like a jerk. (And how do we know when we’ve crossed the line?) Be yourself, but watch what you say so as not to offend others. Pursue self-care, but put your family’s needs before your own. Then, of course, there’s the media and culture, where men today aren’t exactly winning popularity contests. (That’s a subject for entire books.)

First, let’s explore what self-respect for men of God is not. It’s not putting your needs before those you love; it’s not valuing yourself more than others; and it’s not measuring how you feel about yourself based on the world’s standards (money, position, power, looks, etc.). Now that the easy part’s out of the way, let’s examine what healthy, biblical self-respect looks like. Like everything in the Kingdom, it’s an inside-out job, and begins with an understanding of our identity in Christ. Paul says,

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  ––Galatians 2:20

So, Christ died for us, our “old man” died with Him, and as a result, we now live by faith fueled by His love for us. That’s our new position and identity—a man of God’s Spirit, rather than of the world. Like Simon Sinek says, we start with why. In other words, why am I worth anything at all, especially because I still sin and am made of flesh and bone? The answer is in the gift box: We open the box and receive the gift of eternal life through the power of the Cross. It’s free. We didn’t earn it, and there’s nothing we can do to improve on it. There are no spiritual glow-ups in God’s Kingdom.

So what does our glorious identity in Christ have to do with self-respect? Everything. Think of a cherry-red Maserati. A gorgeous piece of fine art. But then you pop the hood to realize there’s a golfcart engine inside. So now you are driving around town topping out at 14 mph. What a waste, right? It’s the same with us: Once we realize that the  body and outward appearance don’t define our value, we begin to realize that the internal engine is everything. For us, that engine has been overhauled by the Holy Spirit.

Man of God, your self-respect isn’t a psych-up job where you make a list of your accomplishments to feel better about yourself. Your self-respect is directly pegged to your set-for-eternity spiritual stock price: eternal, priceless, and secure in Christ. Once you begin to live from THAT truth, you begin the process of measuring everything you say and do by Jesus’ love for you.

So how do you “do” Christian self-respect? Dwell in Him, spend time with Him, read His Word, and spend time with people who love Him. That’s the inside-out process of learning that because He first loved and respected You, you can now love and respect others and yourself.

Father, sometimes I’m my own worst critic. Change my mindset so I can see myself more like You see me, rather than how the world sees me. Give me eyes to see the world through Your eyes, and to see myself as You do.