Disqualified?
Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” ––Exodus 4:10-12
In the Old Testament, lots of seeming “losers” (as the world would define them) find themselves in God’s spotlight. It’s theorized that Moses had a speech impediment that caused Aaron to speak for him. Jacob was a mama’s boy, hanging around the tents and cooking for his family. (Not uncommon male tasks today, but then? No.)
Here’s a quick hit list of what our culture would call “disqualified”: Abraham – liar/coward. Joseph – narcissistic (at least until he was imprisoned in Egypt). David – murderer. Noah – drunk. Elijah – suicidal. Rahab and Mary Magdalene – prostitutes. Samson – womanizer. Jonah – slacker. Gideon – coward. Paul – terrorizer (before His conversion). And so on.
Of course, we know that many of the folks above also make God’s hall of faith in
Hebrews 11. So what does that tell us as God’s men? First, our past doesn’t define who we are today. Second, when our past is submitted to God and we are forgiven and redeemed, He can use us. Third, though bad decisions can carry lifelong consequences, when we are surrendered to Christ, He takes those failures—and the lessons we learned from them—and can use them in mighty ways to help others. From tragedy to testimony.
In the quiet of deep evening—for me it’s around 4am when I get up for nature call—my past failings seem to organize a flash mob in my midbrain. And even if you’ve been growing in the Lord and in a great season, these doom waves can hit as suddenly and hard as an Arrakis sandstorm. Think you are alone in that? That’s just what the devil wants all of us to think: “Sure, you follow Jesus and do all these great things, but remember when you committed that sin?” Like a knock-off film, the circumstances shift a little, but the main plot is always the same. Satan’s hack script reads like this: 1. You really screwed up. 2. Don’t tell anybody because then you will lose status. 3. You’re such a loser and if people find out, they will reject you.
Lie. Lie. Lie. Look at the list above again. Here’s the takeaway: What you do doesn’t define who you are in God’s eyes. He loves you, period. No comma, semi-colon, or modifier. We are all “losers” in that we all fail. But as God’s men submitted to the cross of Christ, when we stay the course we are victors in His hall of faith.
Father, thank You for taking this “unlovable” person and giving me worth and freedom.