July 31

“When I Relax, I Feel Guilty”

Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  ––Luke 10:40-42

Everyone gets stressed, right? By that I mean, we all feel anxious or worried now and then. For me, at least, it’s a fairly constant battle. Even when I’m locked in with Christ and spending time with Him, stress just seeps in—it’s like water from a rainstorm pounding against an old house.

But there’s a difference between struggling with stress and an inability to fully relax. Stress comes from the outside and I choose whether or not to let it in. Bills. Hassles at work. Relationship problems. But when we can’t relax—or struggle to be content or at peace—it’s a sign that there’s something going on inside. It’s that buzzing collection of thoughts that whirl around our head telling us there’s always more to do. We could be laying on a beach in the middle of vacation but on the inside, we are wound up, unable to relax, and unable to be present and just … chill.

In his classic book When I Relax I Feel Guilty, Tim Hansel took a deep dive into this inner-life phenomena. Do you know someone who just can’t relax? They either always have to have something to worry about, or have an inability to just simply chill? Or when they do actually take time off to relax, they feel guilty, as if they don’t deserve—or can’t afford—to have a few peaceful hours away from the chaos of life? I think we all do—and I struggle with this out-of-balance way of thinking at times. 

When our inner thought life is off kilter, we need to get back to Jesus’ priorities for us. Here are a few reminders:

• But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).
• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law (Galatians 5.22-23).
• If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

  

The devil wants us to be focused on tomorrow’s troubles so we miss out on the joys of His Kingdom today. That Kingdom is present and real NOW—not just when we die. When we realize that “we are not of this world” (John 17:16) and that “the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession” (Deuteronomy 14:2), it allows us to switch our paradigm from this world to His Kingdom. That’s when our inner life begins to align with His Kingdom priorities, and true peace can reside.

Father, I surrender the noise and worry that keeps me focused on my worries rather than on You. Take away the guilt I feel when I relax—help me to take on Your peace.