July 7

Drunk Uncles

 

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.  ––Matthew 18:15-17

 

Most families seem to have a proverbial drunk uncle who causes the ruckus at Christmas or Thanksgiving. For our purposes, we will call him Uncle Morty. We all know that Morty loves his vodka, and despite the fact that we purposely don’t have any vodka on hand when we host for the holidays, he always manages to scare some up. After vodka number three Uncle Morty is a loose cannon careening unpredictably cross-decks—you never know when he might crash into you or someone else.

 

The thing is, sober Uncle Morty is a tolerable guy. Sure, he can drop the awkward political zinger in a room full of semi-strangers or distant relatives at times, but otherwise, fairly harmless. But when Morty is on the sauce? Not something to laugh or joke about. We’ve all seen the corrosivity of alcoholism burn through relationships like undiluted hydrochloric acid.

 

God’s man needs to understand that the Uncle Mortys of the world will always be with us. So how do you handle the inevitably uncomfortable or otherwise toxic situations that can arise—whether you only see your Uncle Morty once a year, or perhaps, live with him (or her)? As always, we look to Jesus as the model. WWJD may be a schlocky bracelet from the 90s, but it’s still highly helpful in difficult situations. Matthew 18:15-20 is your cue: First, confront the offending party privately, one-on-one. If that doesn’t work, take another relative/friend with you, get Uncle Morty alone, and confront him together. And if that doesn’t work? Time to ask Morty—politely but strongly—to leave.

 

God’s man is a gentleman … but “gentle” doesn’t mean the “man” is weak. It means we confront in love. But we do confront. We all have Uncle Mortys in our lives—at home, at the holidays, or at the office—and we need to confront at times. Follow Jesus’ lead. Oh, and don’t be Uncle Morty.

 

Father, help me to confront by the leading of the Holy Spirit, and help me do it in a fair but strong way.