June 1
“It’s in the Past”
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book. ––Psalm 56:8, NLT
One of the most famous feuds in American history was between the families Hatfield and McCoy. It ranged from the battlefields of the Civil War to the hollers of West Virginia and across rivers into Kentucky. Over a twenty-plus year period, more than a dozen people died, and several went to prison. Revenge killings, jilted lovers, vendettas, grudge holding. The conflict was so severe it led to lawsuits between the states of Kentucky and West Virginia and was eventually settled by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1888, which ruled in favor of the McCoys. A formal truce was not signed until June 14, 2003—nearly 150 years after the famous feud began.
Who are you in conflict with in your life? Take a minute and scribble down the names of anyone who has betrayed you, wronged you, or otherwise hurt you. (No one else needs to see the list. This is just between you and God.) It might be a hard list. I get it. There may be people on your list who have done terrible things to you. If so, I am genuinely sorry for the pain you’ve been through. I won’t insult your intelligence by saying something like, “Just forgive these people and move on.” That’s easier said than done, right?
The problem with pain and trauma is it doesn’t follow the clock. An unresolved issue can stay frozen in time like a wooly mammoth buried in the permafrost of your limbic system—the seat of your emotions. You need to expose that trauma to the light in order to extract it. Here’s what is cool: The Word suggests that God records every tear and sorrow, just as David tells us in today’s verse above, affirming that trauma is not a sign of a lack of faith.
The Father sees and takes note. He also loves you too much to let you remain in the wilderness. What good dad doesn’t gently nudge their child out into the world, knowing that growth doesn’t happen without risk and pain? How much more, then, when it comes to God, who doesn’t want us to stay frozen in trauma that happened in our past. Don’t buy the myth that when it comes to deep trauma, it’s best to let things remain in the past. It’s not the best, because those kinds of wounds can hold us back from the type of healing that is necessary for us to fulfill the amazing plans He has for us.
The first step is to simply stop denying that past wounds have been dealt with simply because “they happened a long time ago.” Again, your memories don’t follow the clock. The second step is to bring it to the light with trusted brothers, a pastor, or a counselor.
I believe one of the most courageous things a man can do is confront the stuff from his past that still hinders of holds him back. The beauty of the Christian life is that we worship a benevolent Father who counts and records our sorrows, and is ready and waiting to see us through the healing process.
Father, the process of healing from my past can feel overwhelming at times. It’s painful, inconvenient, and uncomfortable. However, I choose to trust You and the fact that You have the ability to heal me in ways I can’t possibly imagine.