Garbage Disposal
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ––Philippians 4:8
A Barna survey showed that of Christian men ages 31 to 49, 77 percent looked at pornography while at work in the past three months; 64 percent view pornography at least monthly; and 18 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 8 percent think they may be).
I hate porn. I’ve seen it ruin the sex lives—and marriages—of way too many guys. But behavioralism doesn’t work. What I mean by that: praying more, fasting more, just “white knuckling it” and trying not to do it. These methods alone typically fail because freedom from porn isn’t about behavior modification, it’s about spirit transformation. (Prayer and fasting are definitely part of it!)
It’s the analogy that I first heard from Dr. Neil T. Anderson: If you have a pile of garbage and shoot the rats but don’t throw out the garbage, the rats will just come back. Same with porn use: we need to get to the triggers—the fears and insecurities—of what drives us to medicate our pain through porn use. Why do we turn to it (or any addiction for that matter)? To numb the pain and the past? Most likely.
Entire books have been written on this—including The Everyman’s Battle series which I was honored to be a part of—but start here: If you are hooked on porn, tell your pastor or a mature believer/mentor. Get into an accountability group and find a great faith-based therapist. Once you get to the roots—the garbage—and find healing from what’s driving you to use porn, the greater the chances of finding freedom from it.
One final thought: rare is the guy who can kick porn addiction on his own. You need other men to encourage you and “do life” with. Don’t remain stuck in the wilderness. Don’t give up hope. There’s freedom when you take the steps.
Father, help me take that first big step in kicking my porn habit. Give me the courage to call a trusted brother in Christ today.
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“Is Porn Addiction a Problem in Your Church?, restoringheartscounseling.com. 12.12.21