Your wife did forsake her individual freedom in clinging to you, believing you would provide love and strength. Your wife is still God’s little ewe lamb, regardless of the pain and sin she’s been through and the character wounds she carries. Don’t forget: God has entrusted her to you. Will you resent her, or help restore her? Does your heart warm to the task of restoration? Is there any nobler act than pouring out your mercy on your precious one?
Deal with your spouse based upon who she is today, not upon what you want her to be. So what is she isn’t who she should be today? Are you? Besides, it’s not important that she becomes everything you expect. It’s important that she becomes like Christ. Your mercy and your strength help carry her there.