May 29
Five Spiritual Traps to Avoid
For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes. ––Proverbs 24:16
Now that I’ve entered my seventh decade on the planet, I have a list in my head of spiritual steps I’ve taken that have helped me grow. On the flip side, I also have a “hall of shame” of mistakes I’ve made along the way. In my own journey, I’ve often learned a lot from older guys sharing what they would have done differently, so that’s what I want to do today. Hopefully, by me telling you some of the errors I’ve made, it will save you the misery of having to make them yourself.
- Presumption – I came out of the gate as a new believer like a shot out of a cannon. That is to say, I blew through people’s decks and caused a lot of wreckage, even though I meant well. I presumed a lot about what people needed spiritually, often in a way that came off as insensitive. Don’t ruin a relationship because you think you know someone else’s needs. Relationship first; advice second.
- Unhealed wounds – There’s an expression I’ve heard while traveling in the South that I love: Hush until you heal. In other words, don’t try to speak into someone’s life when you are angry, hurting, or triggered. Jesus said we should remove the plank from our own eye before pointing out the splinter in someone else’s (Matthew 7:3-5). I had a boatload of unresolved trauma from my childhood, and until I dealt with that, it colored how I handled difficult or complex situations. And the process isn’t over, for sure.
- A critical spirit – I soaked up the Word when I became a Christian, but soon my accumulation of knowledge turned into an arrogance I couldn’t see. I was young—in college—and once I entered the “real world,” God showed me that no single person has a corner on the truth—except Him.
- Worry – Corrie ten Boom said, “Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear,” and it’s so true. A study featured in Psychology Today found that on average, around 91% of worries do not come true, meaning only about 9% of worries materialize. And when they do materialize, they are often not as bad as initially thought.[1]
- Passivity – There’s a big difference between being kind and being passive. Once you know who you are in Christ and have gone through some healing, you actually start to get a handle on how to speak the truth in love. I used to avoid confrontation thinking it wasn’t what “Christian guys” do, but I was dead wrong. I had to learn how to stick up for myself when people tried to steamroll me or take advantage of a situation. On the flip side, I also learned that being honest wasn’t being mean. Oftentimes, the blunt truth—spoken from a reconciled, grounded heart—is the kindest action you can take.
Father, today I (Kenny) pray for my brother reading this right now. With eight billion people on the planet, it’s no coincidence that you’ve brought him here today. I pray that You would show Him just exactly how proud You are of him, and that Your love for him is far greater than he imagines. In Jesus’ name, amen.
[1] Seth J. Gillihan PhD. “How Often Do Your Worries Actually Come True?” July 19, 2019, Psychology Today.