Here Are the Numbers
Seventy-five percent of the men who attend my conferences are fighting to slay the dragon of sexual compromise. Of the married guys, over 50 percent are having major marital difficulties. Over 90 percent are managing a stress-producing crises or person problem that they want help with. The rest are faking it.
This might not be you, but that’s because you have a different vice. The sex sin is what society likes to reprove. The sins of other men are more “respectable,” so naturally, many would love to step up to throw stones. Yet if Jesus said to us, “”If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone,” (John 6:7) The thud of rocks dropping from our hands would come quickly.
In fact, Jesus did say that to us. His vision always penetrates below the water line. The Holy Spirit often uses it to drop sea levels on men’s icebergs. With Christian men, almost imperceptibly, the authenticity in the room creates transparency, transparency creates vulnerability, and that vulnerability creates a weird sort of masculine intimacy (which is an oxymoron, of course). The emotional temperature of the room is surprisingly honest and, by the end, what starts out as the tip of a man’s life is suddenly this gargantuan reality rising up right in front of your eyes.
What’s incredible is that male cultures worldwide are trained to accept just the tip, the visible surface of men, at the expense of the real substance of his life. We take what people say at face value; ask inch-deep questions and gladly rubber stamp an answer. It’s time to study our own fifty-foot deep questions. Maybe we won’t judge our brothers so quickly.
Thank you Father, you are opening my eyes again.