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November 19

Assumptions

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.  ––Proverbs 3:5-6

I don’t remember a lot about my seventh grade shop teacher, but I do remember a saying he used to write on the board: “When you assume, you make an a$$ out of you and me.” We thought it was funny—until he asked one of us to bring our project to the front of the class so he could inspect it. It was a metallurgical “Lord of the Flies” moment … if you didn’t solder your aluminum pencil holder properly, he’d rip it apart with his hands in front of the class. (Even today when I see a good bead line from a welder’s handiwork, I smile with appreciation.)

In truth, assumptions are great fodder for the devil. We’ve all been there: Reacted (or overreacted, more accurately) too quickly and opened our mouth when we clearly should have kept it shut. The fake news we post, believing it’s real. Asking a woman at the grocery store when her baby is due, only to be told, “I’m not pregnant.” (I did this. Once. Never again.) Levity aside, assumptions can be deadly weapons that ruin our day (or another’s), or worse, ruin friendships and divide families. Here are five hard lessons I’ve learned about assumptions:

  1. When in doubt, keep your mouth shut (or, stop typing). “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble” (Proverbs 21:23, NLT).
  2. Gather the facts before saying or doing anything. “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish” (Proverbs 18:13, NLT).
  3. Don’t react in anger. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20).
  4. Give the other party the benefit of the doubt. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).
  5. Be kind in your response, even if others are not.  “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). 

I hate being wrong, just as much as the next guy. But I have had a lot of practice! Seriously though, when we make assumptions of others, we rob ourselves of the opportunity for the Holy Spirit to do something redemptive. Hard? Yes, particularly when things get tense or chaotic. As God’s men, however, we are called to be the guy who keeps his cool; who prays before speaking or writing; who doesn’t pile on when the gossip starts flying; and who gives others the benefit of the doubt, even when things seem bad. Rudyard Kipling of The Jungle Book fame nailed it in his poem “If”:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

… Yours is the Earth and everything in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

From “If—” by Rudyard Kipling, 1865-1936

Father, help me not make assumptions, which play right into the devil’s hands. Discipline and guide me to follow the facts and to present them thoughtfully and with a cool head.