The well-being of a married man’s psyche is tied inextricably to the quality of his sex life. If he feels good about his sex life, that sense of satisfaction spills over into every other part of his experience. And conversely, if his sex life is floundering, then in his mind, other disasters cannot be too far behind.
Every day a man walks into a world that says essentially, “Prove yourself. Prove that as a man you have something worthwhile to offer.” In ways both blatant and subtle, a man is evaluated and measured and stacked up against the next guy all day long. The big question in his mind, conscious or not, is whether he is man enough. Does he have what it takes to win the golf tournament, get the promotion, or woo the woman? Successful, adequate sex certainly isn’t the only route to affirmation, but it surely is the quickest and most direct one for a man.
Why does sex have to be such a big deal? Why can’t he go with the flow and just be happy?
Because he’s a man. And he shouldn’t have to apologize for that.