Sexual oneness is no different than other kinds of oneness. It has terms as well. Comply with the terms, and sexual oneness lives. Ignore those terms, and it dies. We need to act righteously in the marriage bed. If we do, the right feelings follow.
These truths may seem quite unromantic on the surface. Because of the “chick flick” movies we’ve seen through the years and because of our own premarital sexual experiences, we naturally believe that emotional desire must come before sex can happen. Conversely, when the emotional desire isn’t there we naturally believe that it’s okay either to withdraw sexually or to move on to the next partner with whom it does feel right.
But in marriage, waiting for the right moods and emotions to happen doesn’t build sexual oneness, indeed, it shatters oneness.