The simple magnetism of love and physical attraction won’t build the emotional and spiritual communion necessary for a satisfactory sex life. Mutual submission will, however. God expects mutual submission to be perfected in the marriage bed.
You mean I have to sacrifice for sexual oneness? What else did you expect? Did you expect oneness to be snap-your-fingers automatic when it isn’t automatic anywhere else in your marriage? How were you expecting to make room for her sexual essence without making sacrifices?
Whether we like it or not, there’s a distinct place for male submission in the marriage bed. Chances are we may not like it because no sacrifice seems more costly than sexual sacrifice. It’s one thing to submit to her essence and to let her buy the more expensive washing machine. It’s quite another to allow her sexual essence to set the terms of oneness and define our sexual fulfillment. Still, her essence must play a huge role in defining the term. Failing to make room for our wife’s sexual essence will force her to withdraw sexually.