“I was lied to.”
These strong words and the attached feelings flowed forcefully from the tall, super intelligent and beautiful woman responding to my talk on third wave masculinity and femininity. I replied, “How so? What do you mean?”
“I bought into the whole feminist message of power femininity, power sexuality, and power economics for women. Then I met the man of my dreams who swept me off my feet. A good man. A strong man. A loving man. A ‘keeper.’ But I had spent so much time focusing on being strong, blaming men and being independent that I did not know how to partner, enjoy, and affirm him to build a strong marriage and family. I now am re-learning what feminism failed to tell me about men and marriage.” She had met a third wave man and is now joining millions of women on a similar journey that transcends the narrow elements and borders of feminism. She is becoming a third wave woman (i.e., a blend of traditional and progressive) that:
- Acknowledges the glaring shortcomings of both traditionalism that devalued the female voice and vision and feminism that overvalued the same as the end-all
- Recognizes that men have a vital role, real value, commendable strengths, and the ability to be great partners with women
- Appreciates and is not afraid to advocate for healthy male culture that benefits women, children, and justice in the world
- Stops blaming, labeling, accusing, and bundling the male gender into a group who cannot be morally driven, emotionally mature, and relationally disciplined
- Starts encouraging, partnering, respecting, honoring, and leveraging positive masculine strengths toward individual, marital, and family health
THE THIRD WAVE MAN
The world has been waiting a long time for the third wave man and, through progressive church based movements like the Sleeping Giant Movement, communities and countries will begin to see millions third wavers rise up to challenge broken male culture without neutering the ethos and power of masculine strength. Like its feminine counterpart, third wave masculinity is also a blend of traditionalism and solid progressivism that fits especially well with men who claim Christian faith expression and as well as those who are hungry for meaning that contradicts the media characterizations of men as the “failed brand.” Third wave men:
- Reject the idea that being a man is exclusively synonymous with sexual conquest, net worth, physical strength, and self importance
- Accept the reality that if they do not do right relationships (i.e., marriage and family) they are not doing their lives right
- Arrange their morality and priority around the relational and emotional responsibilities of being a man along with the long standing and desired qualities of material provision and physical protection with respect to their women and children
- Recognize and are not threatened by the unique voice, value, and visions women bring to the journey of life
- Committed to righting injustices toward women and children (fatherlessness, domestic violence, sex trafficking, etc.,) that are driven by rooted in broken male culture
Watch out ladies. He’s coming. Cheer him and his brothers on. We need your voice behind us to create more energy within us.
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Kenny Luck, founder and president of Every Man Ministries, is the men’s pastor at Saddleback Church, and has a great deal of experience in leading men through their walk with God. His program Sleeping Giant empowers men to take the experience of a men’s ministry and bring it to their own communities. Watch Kenny’s teachings at EveryManMinistries.com.
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