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May 6, 2013 | EMM Main Blog | What’s The F? – The Fantasy Island Series III

This is the first of four articles in our “Fantasy Island Series III” which explores reality and its relationship to fantasy. In this article, we want to discuss the dangers of living a double life and how this fantasy destroys lives. We are going to take a closer look at the emotional aspects of fantasy. We are also going to discuss God’s will for men like you who want to grow in maturity, truth and reality, versus Satan’s plan to replace your reality with his fantasy, escapism and unreality.


Welcome back to Fantasy Island. 


Let’s start here: fantasy is ultimately about maturity and intimacy.  Men will chase intimacy at some level to get their needs met. That’s true of everyone, not just men.  When there are conflicts that impact real intimacy, our desire for intimacy doesn’t just go away.  Every Man Ministries, Fantasy Island Series by Kenny Luck


We can’t talk about fantasy without talking about maturity and intimacy.  A pursuit of fantasy reveals where we are in life with these things.  These are the two vacuums in life that draw us into fantasy. 


We need to develop maturity in how we handle reality and we need to develop emotional intimacy. These are needs that God really wants to meet for us through a relationship with Him. He wants to provide us with the maturity to handle reality and He wants to have intimacy with us and around us.


If those are the things that drive men into fantasy, a lack of maturity because they can’t deal with reality so they feel they have to escape through fantasy, or a lack of emotional intimacy and love at a very deep level, then doesn’t it make sense that God wants to provide those two things for us? 


These two drivers that push you into fantasy and delusion keep us from God who does not operate in the realm of fantasy because He is into truth and reality.


Read Philippians 1:6, “Be confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”


Whose work is it? Who starts it? Who finishes it? God.


God wants you to partner with Him so He can create the good stuff inside of you. I want you to notice where His work is in this. It’s a good work for Him to produce good character in you. He wants to form Christ in you. He wants to make you mature.


In 2 Corinthians 3:18 it says, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.’


He is the one to define the work that brings you to a level of maturity. This is the work that we are supposed to be about; these are the needs in us that God wants to meet.


If you are a man of God, you are in a process of maturity. That process of maturity is a work of God within you.


How does He do it?


By forming Christ in us; He replaces Kenny and puts in more of Christ into my life. On the maturity level God wants to do that.


On the emotional intimacy level, God also wants to meet that need in your life.  A relationship involves love, affirmation, acceptance and approval. God wants to provide for that deep need in the lives of men, for every individual man, no exceptions.


When you look at the whole issue of fantasy being related to the lack of maturity and intimacy, you see a loving God wanting to provide those two things for you so you don’t have to pursue this rip-off version of maturity and intimacy that is fantasy.  


The “f” in fantasy stands for FALSE.  Fantasy is false power, false control, false intimacy, false love and ultimately false reality.


He wants to provide you with the real thing. You were created by and for God. God wants to meet those needs in your life.


In the next article, we are going to deal with fantasy on a relational level. We will see how fantasy impacts our relationships. I really want you to dial in because this is where it really gets real. There are real consequences in real relationships when you pursue fantasy.


WatchFantasy Island – Part III where men’s expert and pastor Kenny Luck helps you learn to own God’s gift of sex for yourself.” 


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EXPLORE:  The “Media Vault” for related resources.


Related Articles:


You Can Have The Real Thing – The Fantasy Island Series II


Wake Up The Sleeping Giant – The Uprising Series II


Men Are Built For Intimacy – The Fantasy Island Series II





Kenny Luck is the founder of Every Man Ministries and the men’s pastor at Saddleback Church.  His 20th book – SLEEPING GIANT: No Movement of God without Men of God – is the proven blueprint for men’s ministries, and was recently released through B&H Publishing. Watch and read more of Kenny’s teaching here at

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