July 22
The Peter Pan Complex
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. ––Proverbs 16:32, NKJV
At the foot of Mount Hermon in northern Israel lie the headwaters of the Jordan River, which emerge from under the mountain as large springs at Caesarea Philippi. It’s an ancient, sacred place. Even today, carved into the side of the cliffs you can see altars to pagan gods such as Pan. In Greek culture Pan was the god of eternal youth—a mischievous god who never wanted to grow up. Today we refer to men who either refuse or can’t seem to graduate into adulthood as having a Peter Pan complex.
I loved the story of Peter Pan as a kid, made famous by the eponymous Disney animated film, and later by films like Hook starring Robin Williams. The creator of Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie, was heavily inspired by the Greek god Pan, and chose the name to directly link his character to ancient mythology, echoing the deity’s connection to the wild, music, mischievous eternal youth, and uncivilized instincts.[1]
If you think about it, however, it’s a pretty dark story: Children are abducted by a strange creature (an ageless being) and taken to a dangerous world in the sky where you can be eaten by crocodiles or run-through by pirates. Some there are called “lost boys”—orphans who are stuck in this netherworld as ever-young Peter’s playmates until they grow too old and are forced to join a pirate crew, or get “thinned out” by Peter himself. Yeah, harsh. It’s kind of like Lord of the Flies meets Pirates of the Caribbean.
Bottom line: Peter only cared about himself, couldn’t empathize with others, and dumped his friends when they no longer suited his needs. In the real world, there’s little appeal to a man who suffers from a Peter Pan complex. And to clarify, I’m not talking about guys who enjoy having good, healthy fun; what I mean are men who are stuck in childhood or who refuse to take on the responsibilities of adulthood. I think there’s a little Peter in all of us, but for some, it’s a real problem. It’s like what we talked about in an earlier reading regarding the difference between childlike and childish.
Sometimes God puts Peters in our lives, and sometimes Peters put themselves in our lives. Get to know the difference—you don’t need to emotionally babysit any guy who refuses to do the inner work of maturity and manhood. On the other hand, perhaps the Lord’s placed a Peter or two in your life to help them grow into the man of God He wants them to be. Only through prayer and the revelation of the Holy Spirit will you be able to tell the difference.
We all need to put away childish thinking and acting in our lives, and embrace life as a man of God. That means owning our past, allowing God to heal it, and then paying your freedom forward by helping other guys who may still be stuck—like Peter Pan—in their own form of Neverland.
Lord, I surrender any “Peter Pan” traits to You, and ask that You reveal any blind spots where I still have some growing to do. And help me be available and willing to help other men You many place in my path.
[1] https://www.imj.org.il/en/content/peter-pan