Knowing we wouldn’t love our spouses enough to soften our hard hearts and seek oneness, God hoped that we might love Him enough to follow a few commands. Obedience can move us toward complete sexual oneness despite our hard hearts. We don’t even have to understand the differences between men and women. We only have to obey our Creator’s instructions. If we do, we meet the terms of sexual oneness and we blossom emotionally and spiritually.
Achieving emotional closeness has little to do with emotions; it has everything to do with actions. Oneness has terms, set by your wife’s personal convictions and her soul essence. Comply with the terms, and emotional closeness follows. If not, her emotions will die. We need to act right or, more precisely, act righteously. If you do, your wife’s feelings of intimacy follow.