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Red Zone Friendships: Men meet but rarely help each other score big when they connect

In a study by Men’s Health it was revealed that the top two ways men stay connected with friends are texting (#1) and “get togethers” (#2).  The reason we prefer these ways are twofold:  texting fits the factual, short, bottom line style of communication we appreciate and “get togethers” feed our need for closer, interpersonal camaraderie and connection with each other. Whether it’s just the guys or the guys with the gals we usually huddle by gender and “dive deeper.”  Guys usually assemble around wherever the meat is being grilled and Kenny Luck, Every Man Ministriessample it with a beverage in hand.  At the same time, the girls keep it real in the kitchen while prepping for the meal and talk about, well, everything.  That’s where the similarities end because guys do not talk about everything. 

 

In fact, guys prefer to keep it on the surface when we get together.   We stick to sports, work updates, kids sports, house projects, power tools, cars, working out, and our favorite recreational pursuit.  So let’s get this straight:  in the one setting with the most potential power in our lives to build strong friendships we, by habit or by choice, keep things on the surface?  Exactly.  Like a bunch of icebergs, we present the tips of our lives while the big stuff causing emotional heartburn,  relational pain, or spiritual darkness (like our marriages, temptations, families, finances, and inner demons) stay buried, unprocessed, and unresolved.   We leave with full stomachs and empty souls, more lonely than when we first arrived because no one knows what’s really going on in our lives.  The irony is that most of us spin it at these gatherings and say when asked “It’s all good bro.”

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Putting Faith Back Into Your Future

Worrying about the future is big business and a big burden. We ask our kids what they want to be when they grow up. Tiger moms and dads pressure their kids to perform at a high level at very tender ages in order to get little Johnny and Jenny out in front of the future. In the process, we are creating kids who are paralyzed by the prospect of not meeting expectations. Case in point, I asked a high-school senior the other day what her college plans were and she walked away from the whole group. In her mind it was easier to excuse and embarrass herself than to take on her future.  This obsession with controlling the future is getting out of hand and adults are no better.  We are constantly peering into the crystal ball, planning ahead, forecasting, imagining what may be, dreaming of new realities, and how to avoid potential pitfalls.  But what happens when my future fails to meet my own, someone else’s, or culture’s expectations?

 

ANSWER: It becomes a burden.

 

I Heart You: Love Lessons To Be a Valentine

Every year, men try to pony up at Valentine’s Day for their spouse, significant other or loved ones with the obligatory purchase of red roses, chocolates, jewelry, a card and perhaps a romantic dinner. Some men dutifully step up. Others go over the top, while others cross their fingers hoping they can do something right. But all men face the pressure of answering the conundrum that has eluded men for centuries, “what does she really want?”

 

Understanding women can seem like trying to solve a broken Rubik’s cube.

 

From historical accounts, and what we read from the wisest man’s “Songs of Solomon,” here’s a little love lesson on how to be the “Valentine” your sweetheart desires.

 

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Are you looking for Christian men’s ministry resources? It can be difficult to encourage and inspire the men of your church, but the men are an integral and important part of the church’s overall success. Men need to feel inspired and empowered, and be educated about what it means to be a man of God. +/- More