Sanctification is the process by which a man becomes normal in the context of the kingdom of God. The more sanctified you are, the more these fruits of the Spirit will grow freely, and the more normal you will seem to other Christians:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (GALATIANS 5:22-23)
Sophistication, on the other hand, is the process by which a man becomes normal in the context of the world. The more sophisticated you are, the more normal you’ll look to the pagans. You’ll fit right into their world.
The fruits of sophistication include lust, faithlessness, selfishness, self-absorption, and the love of money. The fruit of sophistication rots the fruit of the Spirit.
As you live in this victory over sexual sin and move deeper into your walk with Christ, selflessness should be growing in the marriage bed. In fact, the Golden Rule should be evident in a uniquely literal sense – you love her as you would like to be loved yourself.