July 13

What Opinions Matter?

 

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”  ––John 21:15

 

I heard this great statement the other day: If you don’t trust someone’s opinion, why would you accept their criticism? Don’t get me wrong, the ability to accept criticism is critical––mandatory, actually––if we want to grow as God’s men and become more like Christ. The trick is: From whom should we accept criticism?

 

I don’t know anyone who enjoys receiving criticism. And the more accurate the criticism, the harder it hits. Perhaps one of the best-handled rebukes in history is when Jesus confronted Peter the night before He was crucified. Here’s the wild thing: Jesus confronted Peter for his sins BEFORE he’d committed them. Jesus tells Peter at the Last Supper, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times” (Matthew 26:34). And Peter did. (See Matthew 26:69-75.)

 

But here’s where it gets granular. After Jesus died and rose again, He confronted Peter and asked him three times if Peter loved Him. (This passage––found in John 21:15-17––slays me every time.) Jesus knew Peter would fail Him, but He also knew Peter would repent for his failings. That’s the perfect picture of “confronting in love.” Three denials, three admissions of love to blow it all away. 

There’s so much going on here for us on how to both give and take criticism:

 

1. Jesus is direct, and doesn’t sugar-coat the issue. Oftentimes, we are either too nice or too vague, when we want to “confront but not offend.” 
2. If your motives are pure and God-directed, the truth speaks for itself. It’s not up to you whether the receiving party is offended or not if you speak the truth—clearly, succinctly, without skirting the main issue(s). 
3. Further to #2, if you deliver criticism as Jesus did—motivated from a place of caring and love—then you’ve done your job. Follow-up is important, but you can’t force a person to receive a piece of criticism.

 

Are there better and worse ways to offer criticism? Of course (e.g., not attacking, not operating out of spite). But that’s the subject of books, not short devotionals. For our purposes, the key is to mimic Jesus in how we give—and receive––criticism. The more we trust the critic, the more it can hurt, but the more we know to listen. Iron truly sharpens iron, especially among trusting brothers.

 

Father, help me be both a good giver and receiver of criticism.