A husband’s craving for variety reveals a consuming desire for sexual intensity over intimacy, and it also unmasks the fierce, concealed struggle with tolerance. Any frequent masturbator knows about tolerance, which is the unnatural demand for more and more stimulation to reach the same point of excitement. If a man is pursuing sexual intensity through pictures, tolerance demands an escalation to more stimulating material and fantasy.
But when a real wife is involved, variance is required to escalate beyond the tolerance. Without the escalation provided by variance a man can never expect to reach the same point of excitement.
That’s not to say that all variation is a bad sign in the marriage bed. Some variation will be the natural result of a couple’s creativity as they’re mutually expressing their sexual intimacy. But an insistent, unilateral cry for variation often reflects an abnormal shift in a husband’s sexual focus toward intensity due to porn.